You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
