Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize