I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
