You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
