Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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