We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
