I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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