help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
