Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
40s are totally the cure
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
