You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
