Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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