I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize