ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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