so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
