Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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