Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
