Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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