thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
