Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
