tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He had one of those small greek statue penises
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
