Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
