Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
