spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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