Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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