I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
