"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
