she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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