Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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