apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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