I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
