The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
40s are totally the cure
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize