you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
