You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
