If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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