I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
