Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
