Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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