nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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