Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
