i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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