he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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