told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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