I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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