watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
