all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
