it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
