Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
