dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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