Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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