Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
