She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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