I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
