To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
