She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
God I need to hump something, right now.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
