You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
