i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
