Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
