no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
