i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
