Pappa wants mamma naked
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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