I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize