He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
