I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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