Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
