you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
