The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
