do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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