It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
